Stupid farmers. Uh... hey Tails, are we supposed to save Sonic from Mario or something?
I think we're supposed to save Sonic.
Sonic For Hire: Soniqua Mad is the ninth episode of the sixth season of Sonic For Hire and is the seventy-fourth episode overall.
Synopsis[]
In the wake of Sonic's death, Soniqua sets off on a killing spree on Mario's goons.
Plot[]
Mirroring the monochrome opening scene from Kill Bill, Soniqua, driving a car, monologues that Mario killed her father, and that she has set out to kill all of his goons, and to personally turn the meatball into a ball of meat. Back at Sonic's mansion, the guys are hungover from their pool party in the last episode. They are awoken from their drunken stupor by distant screaming and dark clouds forming above the pool, signifying that the world is now under Mario's control. Tails wearily asks what's going on, while Jim confuses the phenomenon for Daylight Savings Time. Dr. Eggman mentions that Sonic may still be kidnapped by Mario, and that they should go save him or something. Tails remembers that Mario kidnapped Sonic, but concludes that they have most likely settled their differences in a calm and mature fashion.
Tails' claims are nullified, however, when Mario is seen peeing on Sonic's corpse, laughing heartily and mentioning how their is no pissing like "corpse pissing". Princess Potato enters, claiming that a guy wanted money for his package... and that a box came for Mario, before noticing the "pissing corpse". Upon opening the box, Mario finds Bowser's severed head, and a piece of paper with scraggily writing that reads "Me going to kill you!" Mario suspects that Potato may be behind this, and asks her, already unconscious, if she did it. A long fart is her response, declaring (somehow) that she is innocent. Mario realizes that this could only be the work of one other person. Or rather, one mutant monster thing. A montage follows, where Soniqua rips Mike Tyson's head off, guns down Mecha-Hitler in Wolfenstein 3-D, and murders the rest of Mario's goons by rapidly spinning like a top.
Back at Mario's office, Mario is bored, and tells a loudly-ticking clock to shut up. Soniqua barges in, finally giving him some excitement. When asking where her father is, Mario tells the mutant that her father is preoccupied being his toilet. Soniqua charges, but is soon distracted by munching on piles of peanut butter and bread, before Mario traps her in an electrified cage. Mario muses how the PB and bread trap works every time, especially with squirrels, as evident by the large group of squirrels in the corner of his office. Once again deciding that life is good, Mario turns on the TV and sways to the theme song for Who's the boss, as some of the squirrels join him in swaying.
Character Appearances[]
- Soniqua
- Miles "Tails" Prower
- Dr. Eggman
- Earthworm Jim
- Mario
- Sonic the Hedgehog (as a corpse)
- Princess Potato
- Bowser (as a severed head)
- Mike Tyson
- Mecha Hitler
- Blanka
- Dr. Wily
- Taizo Hori
- Dracula
- Pit
- Cow (debut)
- Squirrels (debuts)
Video[]
Transcript[]