I'm not working with that prick! I'd rather give a movie theater guy a hand job to get a copy and blow the cartridge—or something equally depraved I haven't already done.
Sonic For Hire: The New Kirby is the eighth episode of the fourth season of Sonic For Hire and is the forty-seventh episode overall.
Synopsis[]
Sonic is given the opportunity of a lifetime by Kirby to star in his own movie, and learns he has to work with Tails.
Plot[]
Sonic has taken up a job in the world of Popeye. His simple task of rescuing Olive Oyl has failed, so he blew up the Sailor's ship and watches as she is raped by Bluto. The Sailor unleashes a torrent of his famous gibberish at Sonic, who does not understand any of it. In the middle of the gibberish spouting, a limo appears on the boardwalk, with the driver ordering Sonic to hop in. Sonic complies immediately and is taken to Dream Land, in which sits an enormous mansion. Once inside, Sonic learns that the mansion is owned by none other than Kirby, now with a more slender physique and a head full of blonde hair. Sonic compliments this new look and Kirby decides to tell his words to Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill, both of which are his friends now. After spouting his new catchphrase: "Love it!" and whacking his Waddle Dee servant Samuel to death, Kirby pulls out the big guns and offers to make Sonic a star. The creme puff explains that since joining that Sonic on Ice revival and spending time on Broadway, he found his true calling in life and as such, became the producer for many famous movies. This story carries conclusive evidence in the form of several movie posters on the wall. Sonic is shocked to see that he did Blow the Cartridge, one of his favorite (bootlegged) movies. After denying Kirby's offer of taking a whack for old time's sake, Sonic wonders about his new movie. Kirby claims it is going to be "Citizen Kane meets The Terminator" huge. The movie is called: Sonic the Hedgehog: One Bad Character. Sonic is instantly on board with the idea, thinking it as a way to get back at Tails. Kirby then states that Tails is going to be his co-star since everyone loves him. Sonic then puts his foot down, saying that he will not, under any circumstances, work with that two-tailed prick. He states that he would rather give handjobs to movie theater workers to get a bootleg copy of Blow the Cartridge. Kirby claims that the depraved thoughts can wait until after he is a star, and also states that to become a movie star, actors must start in small and dignified roles, claiming that he has just the thing. Sonic hopes to be put in Big Trouble in Little China, saying he wants to meet Jack Burton, though Kirby tells him that movies don't work like that. The episode ends with Kirby beating another Waddle Dee to death, with Sonic being glad to see that Kirby is still a psychopath, and a final utterance of "Love it!".
Character Appearances[]
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Popeye (debut)
- Olive Oyl (debut)
- Bluto (debut)
- Kirby
- Waddle Dee Butlers (debut)
- Tails (mentioned)
Transcript[]
Click here to view the transcript.
Videos[]
